Happy Father’s Day, Fikaye!
I miss you. Every single day. But today, on Father’s Day, the ache is sharper, the questions louder. You were such a good father. The kind who rolled on the floor with the kids like you were their age, who matched their energy jump for jump, laugh for laugh. I close my eyes and see you dramatic, playful, fully in it, acting out little skits with them like you were all starring in your own comedy show. The way they lit up when you were around. Fikaye, they adored you. And you? You adored them right back, fiercely, intentionally.
I remember the cuddles, how you’d pile onto the bed with them, a tangle of limbs and giggles, watching cartoons like it was the most important thing in the world. You weren’t just there; you were present. You made them feel like they were the center of the universe. And in your eyes, they were.
But what I will never forget what none of us will ever forget is how hard you worked for them. Even when your body begged for rest, even when your bones ached and your eyes burned with exhaustion, you pushed forward. Day after day, night after night, you gave everything. You burned like a candle, not just to keep them warm, but to light the way for their future. You worked until your last breath, not for yourself, but for them, because their happiness, their safety, their dreams mattered more to you than your own comfort. That was the kind of father you were. That was the kind of man you were.
And that’s why this hurts so much. You deserved better. You deserved to see the fruits of your sacrifice, to watch them grow up wrapped in the future you fought so hard to build. Instead, something, someone? snatched you away when you were so close to help, to hope. It’s not fair. I’m so angry, Fikaye. Angry at the mystery, at the silence, at the empty space where you should be.
But I’m also very grateful. Grateful I got to witness the love you poured into those kids. Grateful for every silly moment, every dramatic performance, every drop of sweat you shed for them. Grateful for the way you loved them, not just with your heart, but with your life. That doesn’t disappear. You don’t disappear.
I don’t know why you’re gone. I don’t know if I ever will. But I know this: you were a light. A wonderful, ridiculous, devoted father. A man who gave everything and asked for nothing.
Rest, brother. But know we’re still here, loving you, missing you, fighting for the answers you deserved.
Forever Yours,
Banchu (Nama)